"Home"coming

I leave in a little over 12 hours to go back to the U.S. for my brother's wedding. I'm having mixed feelings about it. I don't really want to leave Japan right now. I'm having some anxiety over it, in fact. I don't feel ready to face the States yet.

I haven't accomplished much of what I wanted to do here, and so I don't want to face the questions I'm going to get (repeatedly) about what I'm doing with my time like "how is aikido going?" (I haven't even started yet.) Also, Randy and I haven't figured out when exactly I'm coming back, so I don't have an answer for that one yet either. Or where we'll be living. Or what I'll be doing for work. Or anything, really. I am just now starting to come to terms with those things myself (I can feel myself getting over a hump recently, coming to grips with the reality of my life here) but do not feel solid enough in my convictions to sound convincing when discussing them with curious inquisitors.

And to be completely honest, I miss a some people in the U.S., but I do NOT miss the U.S. in and of itself right now. That's going to be a tough one to explain.

And I'm not even heading to L.A. or S.F...I'm going to the wedding in South Dakota.

It will be good to see some friends and family...and Randy, of course.

I am just not in the mood to answer any questions about Japanese culture or food or language or "say something in Japanese," to which I will most likely answer the same thing every time: "Sukoshi nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu, demo joozu jaa arimasen." If you don't know what that means, then feel free to think it's impressive.

I'm also not in the mood to come out to many of my relatives who've never seen me with a boyfriend or don't even know I'm bisexual. I'd rather feel completely comfortable with being physically affectionate with Randy.

I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck. I'll be back with photos in less than a week.

Lost 'n Found

Sometimes, Japanese people seem to be spaced out and unaware. When walking around, many seem to have no sense that there are other people in the world. I have seen people step off of elevators or escalators and then just stand there, apparently oblivious that other people need to get off right behind them. Some will step onto a train and stop just inside the door rather then move in, even though they know others are following right behind. They will be walking in a crowded area and then just stop suddenly and seem surprised and irritated that someone behind them bumped into them.

For some reason though, when it comes to tasks, they are meticulously attentive to details. This is why the streets are clean and customer service is usually very high.

My bicycle key is very small (about the size of an American Quarter), and I usually just stick it in my pocket once I've locked my bike for the day. Yesterday, I reached for it to discover that it had gone missing. I looked everywhere in that area, but I knew full well that I had ridden the train between when I put it in my pocket and when I looked for it later on.

Today, I went to the train station near my work and asked about it at the service area in the best Japanese I could muster. To my surprise, they whipped out a giant binder full of listings for each day of the last month. Each page listed every earring, scrap of paper, or button that had been left on any of the trains or in any of the stations, what time they are found, and where they can now be located. They actually print out this document every day and publish it in every station within a 50-mile radius!

They asked me the approximate time it went missing, where I was I heading, and did it have any identifying characteristics. It turns out that my tiny key (with no key chain) was found on the train I took to work, as it continued on to Osaka. I'm picking up my key tomorrow evening.

I tend to pay attention to details, and even I thought that binder was a little OCD for my taste. That being said, I'm grateful someone is paying attention out there!

Obon is heating up

I must be crazy. Today was 97 degrees with a humidity of 87% and here I was riding my bicycle to work. What's wrong with me? I could have had a heat stroke. I arrived all wet and panting, and it took over two hours to rehydrate.

Most Japanese people are off of work and school this week because the heat is too much for them. They return to their hometowns and pay homage to their ancestors by tending to grave sites. Then move quickly back into the air conditioning. This ritual and time period is referred to as Obon.

Ironically, while my job doesn't give us time off, I've been working six-day weeks for the most of the last two months so that I can go to my brother's wedding in the States. I'm having my own personal return to see the family (even if it's not in my hometown...most of the extended family will be there and will be meeting Randy for the first time). I guess I get Obon after all!

Now, I'm just praying that the heat will have subsided significantly by the time I return. Please?!?

Climbing Fuji-san

Well, I did it! Climbing Mount Fuji was challenging and rewarding all at once (those two things often seem to go together).

After a 7-hour bus ride, 9 of us from NOVA arrived at the 5th Station (out of 9) and had a small meal before beginning the climb at around 6:00pm. We made pretty good time, arriving at the 8th station in only about four hours. It got dark quickly, but we had flashlights or headlamps, and the cool weather kept us from sweating to death. It began as a gentle slope, but it quickly became more necessary to use the climbing sticks we bought. Between the 7th and 8th Stations, we even needed to crawl over rocks with our hands at times.

We had to stop every hour or so to drink water or sports drinks and eat a little something to prevent altitude sickness. At various points, my breathing became labored, and I felt a little lightheaded or dizzy for a few moments. A few puffs on my canned oxygen or a short rest usually took care of that. It was generally caused by climbing too high too fast, and short breaks were essential. In fact, they have most climbers stop at the 8th Station for a couple hours to help them adjust. It's sort of like not ascending too quickly when SCUBA diving because you can get "the bends" from changing air pressure too quickly.

So we took a "small sleep" packed in to loft-type bedding in rows of about 20 people, had a tiny breakfast of sticky rice, and made the painstaking 3-hour climb to the 9th Station at the summit. It was steeper than the rest, and the wind was getting really chilly, but the most challenging part was that there were SO many people climbing that we could only take a few steps and then had to stop, often balancing across two rocks, until we could move forward a few more steps.

We arrived at the top just in time to see dawn break, and the sunset was beautiful.

I think the most beautiful part wasn't the sun, but rather that we could see lower mountaintops peeking through the clouds below us.


We couldn't stay long because of the cold, and we soon headed down the mountain, which I think was more difficult than the climb. While going up was more challenging because of the altitude and required endurance, the descent was more of a workout.

The path down was full of lava rocks and gravel that you would slip on every few steps. I found it easier to actually run down the slope, digging my heels in to the gravel to prevent sliding. The whole trip down only took about three hours or so, and we were exhausted.

Our bus dropped us off at an "onsen" or Japanese spa, where we took advantage of a hot tub and massage chairs. Then as we continued home, the bus overheated twice, and we had to wait a total of three hours on the side of the road before finally heading home.

Overall, I was grateful for the experience. I got to use my Japanese with people on the bus, our tour guide, and the climbing guide. I was able to get away from my job and the city for awhile. I had time to think about my priorities and potential future plans. I got to spend some time with friends and get to know a few new people as well.

It was difficult at times to continue to the top, and two people in our group didn't actually make it all the way up. I think it's great that they were in touch with their temporary limitations and honored their body's needs. I have no doubt that under different circumstances they could both make it all the way to the summit. Maybe next time?

Well, while it was great to do once, I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon!

As usual, you can see the rest of the photos HERE, double-click to see larger versions, and right-click to save them.

The Elements

Growing up, I had bad allergies and a few bad sunburns that resulted in my parents and doctors telling me I shouldn't be outside without long sleeves, pants, a hat, sunglasses and plenty of high octane sunscreen. This led me to really not want to be outside at all. I missed out on a lot of activities that other kids could participate in.

As an adult, I relaxed my attitude about it and decided to reconnect to nature. I would do one thing with each of the four elements, challenging myself at the same time:

• for Water, I went SCUBA diving with reef sharks circling around me in the Bahamas.

• for Air, I went hang gliding off of a mountain just north of San Francisco.

• for Fire, I performed on stage as a fire dancer in Union Square.

Well, tomorrow I leave bright and early to face my Earth challenge: I'm climbing Mount Fuji. Standing at 12,388 ft (3,776 meters) high, it's the tallest mountain in Japan and is actually a dormant volcano. I hear it's very difficult for many, and I need to bring clothes for the heat and humidity at the bottom, rain on the way up, and freezing temperatures and low air pressure at the top. I will be gone two full days for the trip to the base, the climb up to see the sunset and then the descent and trip back home.

Wish me luck (and stay tuned for photos)!

big bang fizzle

Today was the most frustrating I've had yet in Japan. After a day and a half of idiotic training (they actually had me repeating after them as if I was 5 years old and THEN, having them repeat after me the same exact phrase in the same exact way...it prepared me so well to teach that phrase and nothing else), I was thrown into my branch today with no guidance. My manager and trainer and district manager are all on vacation.

NOVA is great at giving you kindergarten tools before putting you into 4th or even 7th grade.

The only person working was a jaded, crotchety guy who only spoke the truth about half the time he was talking. He thought it was funny. I though it was less then helpful. I asked him to give me one week of truth and then he could pull my leg all he wanted. He acquiesced.

At least it's not the branch I was training at where they were telling "fag" jokes both days.

So in addition to having less time to take notes on the previous class and then prepare the next one, the lessons are different and I have an extra "activities" section to fit in between the "listening" stage and the "applications" stage. I got better as the day went on.

I'm also not allowed to teach outside of the given book, which is less creative than the MM Center. That is, except in the Voice Room, where we can talk about anything under the sun, if all students can relate.

Overall it is better to have the students in front of me, I must say. I know once I get the hang of it, I will be happier. It's hard knowing I'm in this position, getting less money, when I was a short time away from being promoted at the MM Center (from what my floor supervisor told me).

So tonight I was invited to go see the big fireworks show over the river between Juso and Osaka. I rushed home (it took 3o minutes longer than it took me to get there this morning), changed clothes and rushed out to meet friends from Osaka. I rode my bike and caught the train for the hour-long trip there.

I sent them texts saying I was on my way.
I sent them texts saying I was almost there.
I sent them texts saying I was there.
I waited for over 30 minutes.
I tried calling and there was no answer.

I eventually made my own way to the waterfront just in time to see between 5 and 10 of the last minutes of the hour-long show.

Then I had to take the hour-long trip home.

I never saw anyone I knew. I only got about 8 minutes of obscured fireworks. I really need and deserve a night out, and every time I've tried for the last 5 months, it's been foiled. I'm in desperate need and feel like crying. I'm so overdue for anything fun, I don't know what else to say. I feel so pushed down and teased and dragged around right now, and all I have to show for it is that I'm farther away from my friends in Japan then ever before, craving to be embraced in a culture where touching is taboo.

So I'm sitting at home realizing that was my last frolicking time until about five weeks from now when HOPEFULLY I can do something fun for my birthday.

It had better happen, or I'm going to explode.

And I doubt that would be as exciting or beautiful as fireworks!

Where's a Sledgehammer when you need one?

After a day of rough financial news yesterday (my root canal is going to potentially cost me $600 I don't currently have for something like that) and knowing I am starting a new job tomorrow, I was excited at the prospect of getting a full night's sleep. I had the potential of up to eight hours before getting up for my skype appointment with Randy.

I had some nightmares but was able to go back to sleep with a slightly cooler day for once. (it's only 79 degrees Fahrenheit so far this morning and only forecasted to be 91 today...whoo hoo!)

After only 6 & 1/2 hours, I was woken up by someone else's alarm clock.

Beeep
Beeep
Beeep
Bedebedebedebedebedebedebedebedebede

Beeep
Beeep
Beeep
Bedebedebedebedebedebedebedebedebede

Then they turned it off. But I knew it was too good to be true. This happened a couple weeks ago too. In about 5 minutes, it started again:

Beeep
Beeep
Beeep
Bedebedebedebedebedebedebedebedebede

This is when I got frustrated. I got on clothes and went up three flights of stairs, listening for the sound, knocked on their door and ran away. I didn't want to have to confront them directly. What would I say? Most likely, they are Japanese, and I have no idea what words to use for "alarm", "noise", "turn off", or "I'm trying to get a full night's sleep you inconsiderate jerk."

I wasn't awake enough to sift through my dictionary either. English is hard enough for me when I first wake up, let alone Japanese!

They know their alarm is disturbing to others. Why? Because this isn't the first time I've had to go knock on their door. This really set me off today, and here I am with less sleep than I wanted (it was supposed to be my catch-up day and get ready for tomorrow since I only have 8 hours from the moment I get home tonight from my last shift in Osaka until I have to LEAVE in the morning for my first training shift in downtown Kyoto...farther away than my actual branch)

Okay, I just needed to vent my frustration.

Both days I knocked on the door, they turned the alarm off...I thought. The alarm is going off again. I'm going back up there.