The Proof is in the Pudding

While I was typing that posting, feeing good about the direction of my financial spiral, I received two new emails in my inbox. They were both from people who are interested in becoming students and want a trial lesson!

Case in point.

Financial Flow

A few years ago, I learned that like everything else, money comes and goes in cycles. A healthy relationship with money is one where it is flowing in and out of your life. If you only have money going out, you are feeding others, but you will become bankrupt. If you only have money coming in (and aren't also spending it), you are neglecting other areas of your life, not to mention not feeding others' incomes. Blocking your outpour also blocks your input. No flow means no flow...in any direction.

Have you ever heard the phrase "You have to spend money to make money?" Well this doesn't only mean investing in something in particular. It also means, in a broader sense, investing in the system, expecting a payoff.

In the world we live in, we all rely on economic flow...for our jobs, for our entertainment, for our futures. It's a system we participate in whether we want to or not. For many years I didn't want to. Experiences growing up on the short end of the stick had left me hating the system. With that attitude toward it, no wonder it wasn't providing me with more than the bare minimum to survive (and sometimes less)! I kept looking for a way to get ahead, all the while stressing about how expensive everything was and how much I was spending.

If we stress about how much is going out, we are putting our focus (our energy) on the deficits, which will never make us happy in the long run. If we only focus on how much is coming in, we can become just as stressed, consumed with making more and fearing losing what we've amassed.

Like everything else, it requires balance. Balance requires awareness.

Sometimes you feel like you got ahead but then something comes along unexpectedly, costing more than you wanted to spend. Are you upset because that unexpected expense arrived, "taking" the money you'd finally built up...or are you grateful? (if you hadn't built it up, you'd be in the hole after that expense!)

Sometimes the opposite happens, and just when you're down as low as you think you can go, something comes along with a surprise payment or someone buys you a meal. Are you upset because you're so far in the hole that you needed a handout, or are you grateful that you were given a gift?

After these two situations, attitude is all that matters. Changing that attitude requires awareness.

I've done a lot of reading on this subject. Most modern authors say the same thing. Money follows energy and energy follows intention and focus. This can create a spiral in either direction, and it's up to our attitude and focus to influence that direction.

When people get rich, they often say the same thing: Once it started happening, they became so excited and grateful for it, and it kept coming in. They started spending more on themselves and others, and eventually their money was making money for them (investments, interest) without having to work for it. Upward spiral.

When people become poor, they also often say the same thing: Once one thing happened, they became so distraught that it's all they could think about, and like dominoes, everything started to crumble. They became tighter with their money and constantly stressed about how much they didn't have. Downward spiral.

The point here is to remember to be grateful for, focus on what we DO have. Remember how blessed we are (this doesn't just apply to money, but also friends, love, health, etc.) and pour your energy into THAT!

Now I know these are all broad generalizations. I'm not advocating spending your last few dollars in hopes that you will have some money come back in. Please make sure your basic needs are met first and foremost. I'm also not suggesting that you nonchalantly spend your money if you have a surplus. Spend it as carefully as if each moment, each dollar is an intentional purchase. Like I said, awareness is key. Awareness of your income, your expenditures, and most importantly, awareness of where you put your energy.

After awareness comes the gratitude. If you do only have a couple dollars left, be grateful that it's two. It could be worse.

I know it's difficult. Lord, do I know! In my world, it HAS been worse than two dollars more than once in my life. I've had to rely on friends and family to survive (all the while in debt) more times than I can count. I was refusing offers of help for so long, and when I had no choice but to accept, I became grateful for them. The more I told others of their generosity, the more offers I got. It grew exponentially.

I have to remind myself of this all the time, and while I sometimes have forgotten and fallen off the wagon, so to speak, I'm getting better at it with each go around.

Recently two experiences reminded me of the upward spiral.

I am working on getting more students so that I can save up money for going to SE Asia and heading back to the States. My income was getting me by, but it wasn't allowing me to save. I was complaining about how I couldn't seem to get more than 17 students a week. It had been 7 weeks of 17 students, and with each week, I said it more often: that I seemed to be stuck plateauing at 17. I was getting new students, but other students were canceling (from illness or being out of town) or going back to the old school now that it offered them a good deal.

When I became stressed about losing those students, I started losing more. My schedule was down to 13 for this week! Randy reminded me to keep my eye on the opportunities, and he was right. I began to feel grateful for all the new students as well as for all the students who hadn't left me and had stuck with me through me showing up late (a big no-no in Japan, and an old ongoing challenge for me) or canceling on them at the last minute for various reasons.

Lo and behold, all within two days, an old student called me with friends who wanted to start lessons. A couple of my group lessons split up, so instead of one lesson, they are now two, giving me additional income. Another student asked if she could come twice this week. I'm now back to 17. If all of these new students continue and the canceled students return, next week will break through the ceiling I had created for myself energetically.

Additionally, February is a short month, so I have less days to come up with rent, utilities, debt payments, etc. I was starting to get stressed about it and about having less students this week. My heater broke, and so it was working harder for less heat, costing me over $200 this month. Probably due to stress and the heater, I got sick and had to stay home from Aikido this week and had to go to the doctor.

I was complaining about this, stressing about it to Randy yesterday when I remembered how he had reminded me a week earlier to focus on the opportunities. I then told him instead about how one student had unexpectedly prepaid me for 10 lessons, and one or two more of them will do the same next week. It shifted my attitude about the outlook. I started being grateful for that windfall because it was going to pay my heating bill. Granted, the money was already spent, but it's better than scraping to come up with that money otherwise, right?

So I went to the doctor, and after finding out I have a cold, I asked about the stomach pains I had been experiencing. The doctor said we need to rule out an ulcer before researching more. I think the pain's not in my stomach, but I agree that we should rule out the simplest cause first, just in case it's that easy. Next week they're going to put a camera down my throat, into my stomach, and through my duodenum into the entrance of my small intestine. It's going to cost about $200.

I was wondering where the money was going to come from, feeling REALLY grateful for those students prepaying. I went to pay my rent to the landlord, and afterward, he handed me $200. What?!? Someone I referred to live in my building signed a lease, so I get a finder's fee. I wasn't expecting it, but I am so grateful, that's for sure! It will pay for my procedure next week...

One last thought: If my doctor's story has you worried about me, you missed the point of this posting. Worrying or stressing about me is not the direction I want to go in. Please join me in focusing on the healthy upward spiral of my healing. Picture me healthy and happy after finding a simple cause and solution.

Thanks!

Aiki D'oh!

Well I've been thrown into the general class with every one else. I guess my initial "beginner" experience was too good to last. I don't feel as though I've had enough teaching along the lines of how to fall or roll. That was such a small part of my first lesson, and I don't feel prepared for being thrown the way I was last week. So now I'm relying on the gentleness and patience of my fellow practitioners. They've been friendly and helpful.

Then, as I was thrown to the mat the other day, my toenail caught on it and completely bent backwards. It didn't break, but rather was flipped inside out. I flipped it back and continued with the practice for the day, but damn did it hurt!

The next time I went to practice, we practiced a very active move with many throws. Today, my body is sore and reminding me that I'm using muscles I haven't used in a long time, if ever!

I used to be in touch with energy flow more regularly when I was doing bodywork. I feel like a volcano, starting to leak smoke, preparing for a more steady flow of energy. I'm glad to be "active" again.

Aikido

Tonight, I got up the nerve to go in to an aikido dojo, hoping to watch and check it out, get some information about costs, requirements, will they teach me if I don't speak Japanese?

I was greeted at the door by someone who was a little late, and he turned out to be one of the head students. All the other students were running drills until he walked in, and then they all stopped and sat down in an orderly fashion. He directed another "black belt" to talk to me, and the process was explained to me. There is no teacher...only students. Some students have been studying for decades, and the longest practicing student is the president of the dojo. About half of them were advanced students, so there are many teachers, in another sense. As far as he described it, each student teaches each other student, and so as of tonight, I teach him as well. Even though I wasn't dressed to actually participate, he asked me if I just wanted to watch or learn something. I hesitated for a moment and decided to jump in.

His name is Masa, and he was funny and patient and used English only when he felt it was necessary. We practiced forward and backward rolls and the first 3 "waza," or moves. By the end, I could see how explaining it to me was also teaching him the particulars of the waza, and he would ask me words in English too, so he was definitely getting something out of it as well.

By the end, I was really enjoying it and learning a lot. In addition, many of the moves and the ways they are used to describing them are fundamentally Japanese. It required that I know some Japanese calligraphy because some of the moves are like making a large version of the shape in the air. Some of the moves are named after and related to culturally significant Japanese items, like the short curtains hanging in doorways or types of rice. If I hadn't lived here first, I would never had understood these concepts so easily or clearly.

I have my work cut out for me, but it is going to be a completely enriching experience, and I'm so grateful I actually came here and made it happen, no matter how long it took.

I'll let you know how it's going...