"Home"coming
I leave in a little over 12 hours to go back to the U.S. for my brother's wedding. I'm having mixed feelings about it. I don't really want to leave Japan right now. I'm having some anxiety over it, in fact. I don't feel ready to face the States yet.
I haven't accomplished much of what I wanted to do here, and so I don't want to face the questions I'm going to get (repeatedly) about what I'm doing with my time like "how is aikido going?" (I haven't even started yet.) Also, Randy and I haven't figured out when exactly I'm coming back, so I don't have an answer for that one yet either. Or where we'll be living. Or what I'll be doing for work. Or anything, really. I am just now starting to come to terms with those things myself (I can feel myself getting over a hump recently, coming to grips with the reality of my life here) but do not feel solid enough in my convictions to sound convincing when discussing them with curious inquisitors.
And to be completely honest, I miss a some people in the U.S., but I do NOT miss the U.S. in and of itself right now. That's going to be a tough one to explain.
And I'm not even heading to L.A. or S.F...I'm going to the wedding in South Dakota.
It will be good to see some friends and family...and Randy, of course.
I am just not in the mood to answer any questions about Japanese culture or food or language or "say something in Japanese," to which I will most likely answer the same thing every time: "Sukoshi nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu, demo joozu jaa arimasen." If you don't know what that means, then feel free to think it's impressive.
I'm also not in the mood to come out to many of my relatives who've never seen me with a boyfriend or don't even know I'm bisexual. I'd rather feel completely comfortable with being physically affectionate with Randy.
I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck. I'll be back with photos in less than a week.
I haven't accomplished much of what I wanted to do here, and so I don't want to face the questions I'm going to get (repeatedly) about what I'm doing with my time like "how is aikido going?" (I haven't even started yet.) Also, Randy and I haven't figured out when exactly I'm coming back, so I don't have an answer for that one yet either. Or where we'll be living. Or what I'll be doing for work. Or anything, really. I am just now starting to come to terms with those things myself (I can feel myself getting over a hump recently, coming to grips with the reality of my life here) but do not feel solid enough in my convictions to sound convincing when discussing them with curious inquisitors.
And to be completely honest, I miss a some people in the U.S., but I do NOT miss the U.S. in and of itself right now. That's going to be a tough one to explain.
And I'm not even heading to L.A. or S.F...I'm going to the wedding in South Dakota.
It will be good to see some friends and family...and Randy, of course.
I am just not in the mood to answer any questions about Japanese culture or food or language or "say something in Japanese," to which I will most likely answer the same thing every time: "Sukoshi nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu, demo joozu jaa arimasen." If you don't know what that means, then feel free to think it's impressive.
I'm also not in the mood to come out to many of my relatives who've never seen me with a boyfriend or don't even know I'm bisexual. I'd rather feel completely comfortable with being physically affectionate with Randy.
I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck. I'll be back with photos in less than a week.
posted by Spencer Douglas at
9:50 PM
2 Comments:
I'll come out to your relatives for you. They like me, so it should all be fine.
(sing song voice) i know what that means! see you next week, have a good time at home ;)
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home