big bang fizzle

Today was the most frustrating I've had yet in Japan. After a day and a half of idiotic training (they actually had me repeating after them as if I was 5 years old and THEN, having them repeat after me the same exact phrase in the same exact way...it prepared me so well to teach that phrase and nothing else), I was thrown into my branch today with no guidance. My manager and trainer and district manager are all on vacation.

NOVA is great at giving you kindergarten tools before putting you into 4th or even 7th grade.

The only person working was a jaded, crotchety guy who only spoke the truth about half the time he was talking. He thought it was funny. I though it was less then helpful. I asked him to give me one week of truth and then he could pull my leg all he wanted. He acquiesced.

At least it's not the branch I was training at where they were telling "fag" jokes both days.

So in addition to having less time to take notes on the previous class and then prepare the next one, the lessons are different and I have an extra "activities" section to fit in between the "listening" stage and the "applications" stage. I got better as the day went on.

I'm also not allowed to teach outside of the given book, which is less creative than the MM Center. That is, except in the Voice Room, where we can talk about anything under the sun, if all students can relate.

Overall it is better to have the students in front of me, I must say. I know once I get the hang of it, I will be happier. It's hard knowing I'm in this position, getting less money, when I was a short time away from being promoted at the MM Center (from what my floor supervisor told me).

So tonight I was invited to go see the big fireworks show over the river between Juso and Osaka. I rushed home (it took 3o minutes longer than it took me to get there this morning), changed clothes and rushed out to meet friends from Osaka. I rode my bike and caught the train for the hour-long trip there.

I sent them texts saying I was on my way.
I sent them texts saying I was almost there.
I sent them texts saying I was there.
I waited for over 30 minutes.
I tried calling and there was no answer.

I eventually made my own way to the waterfront just in time to see between 5 and 10 of the last minutes of the hour-long show.

Then I had to take the hour-long trip home.

I never saw anyone I knew. I only got about 8 minutes of obscured fireworks. I really need and deserve a night out, and every time I've tried for the last 5 months, it's been foiled. I'm in desperate need and feel like crying. I'm so overdue for anything fun, I don't know what else to say. I feel so pushed down and teased and dragged around right now, and all I have to show for it is that I'm farther away from my friends in Japan then ever before, craving to be embraced in a culture where touching is taboo.

So I'm sitting at home realizing that was my last frolicking time until about five weeks from now when HOPEFULLY I can do something fun for my birthday.

It had better happen, or I'm going to explode.

And I doubt that would be as exciting or beautiful as fireworks!