Here it Comes!

When I got the news from that two-faced company, I was really angry. In the past I was worried, nervous, scared, frustrated, and exhausted. But this time I was just pissed.

So I've decided to let them go, and I took matters into my own hands.

I went and signed up for unemployment yesterday. It will help out for up to three months. I have to show I'm looking for a job in that time, but in addition to my privates that should support me being here.

Then we went to Immigration (Randy went with me). They told me that since it's expiring and I don't have another job, I could only apply for a change of status. I'm basically being changed into a tourist and will have 90 days under that visa.

I'm not supposed to work under that visa, but due to extraneous circumstances, they are hopefully giving me an allowance of part-time work (up to 28 hours a week). I have to apply for that special permission once I get the tourist visa squared away. They are unusually sympathetic because the NOVA problem is famous nationwide. Without the work permission, I can't collect the unemployment.

At the end of the three months, I have to either have found a job or I need to leave the country (like take a day trip to South Korea) and return to get the tourist visa renewed for another 90 days. All I'll really need at that time is 2 and a half months. The second time, they won't let me work legally, but by then, the unemployment benefits will have run out anyway, so I don't really care if I have that permission or not.

And Randy is determined to get me to start aikido this January. He's going to make sure I have the start-up money and was encourage/trying to push me to visit the dojo yesterday, which was great and very supportive of him (but I was exhausted after going through two Japanese bureaucracies and trying to speak to them in Japanese, no less). he's been great through all of this, even taking a day away from his vacation here to make sure these things were taken care of.

AND, I got a call from the tourist office in Kyoto Station, and they have found me a Japanese teacher for only 500 yen (less than $5) a lesson for private lessons!

I think 2008 is going to be WAY better than 2007. Wanna join me in creating that one?

In 2008, I'm also going to have more visitors here from the States, see my sister get married, study massage in Thailand, tour around SouthEast Asia a little bit (and see some old friends along the way), return to the U.S., and meet some of my friends' kids who were born in the last year or so (I've counted 4 so far).

All in all, I have a good attitude. 2008 Rocks!

Deck the Halls

Well I just got an e-mail from the company that took over for my old English school. They were chosen as the new sponsor for the company because they promised to rehire all old employees who wanted work. They had offered to hire me on January 10th and renew my work visa (just in the nick of time...it expires on Jan. 24th).

They were writing today to inform me that due to business restrictions, they will not be able to hire me as many teachers as promised, including me. This is the fifth time they have gone back on their word. I honestly don't want to work for them anyway, in that case.

And I thought the last few months were stressful... NOW I'm stressed! I don't know if I will be able to stay in Japan for more than the next 30 days or so. This is so frustrating and exhausting.

Merry Christmas, eh?

Emergence

Well, I did it. I went to a Japanese pot luck dinner party. I was really nervous, and the one person who really spoke English wasn't even there when I got there. She was still at work. So I listened a lot. I nodded a lot. I ate a few things, and something made me sick to my stomach. But like a good Japanese boy, I smiled and sat there like nothing was wrong.

Eventually, some of them were brave enough to talk in the little English they learned in High school and Junior high. There were about 20 people there, and 3 of them talked to me. After my stomach started feeling better (the host gave me these two black pill things that smelled nasty but worked like magic), I eventually had some of the wine I brought, loosened up a little, and spoke some really bad broken Japanese. They were very kind and forgiving of my efforts. We talked a little about movies. I made fun of myself and my bad Japanese. It inspired me to learn more. It reminded me that I don't ever want to stop learning languages.

There are three things that really make me happy when I'm feeling down:
1) Going Dancing.
2) Traveling.
3) Speaking in foreign languages with someone. Anyone.

These three things make me feel better about myself and my place in the world.

That being said, I went to the Tourist Information office today to pick up the visitor's guide for December/January for Randy's visit. It's extremely helpful in figuring out what to do, see, and buy when you're here.

When I got to the front desk of the office, they mistakenly asked me if I was there to sign up for the Japanese lessons. So I asked about them, and apparently, they are only 500 yen a lesson (plus the 380 yen it will take me to get to Kyoto Station and back). That's only about $7.50 a lesson! They will assign me a personal teacher for private lessons once a week, starting sometime in January. I wish I'd known about this earlier, but hey, whatever. At least I can take advantage of it now.

This was on my way back from my job interview, which was horrendous. They had me pretend that the three adults interviewing me were Japanese 4- and 5-year-olds and teach a sample lesson on the spot with no warning. I'm getting really tired of the "on the spot" thing that's happened at far too many Japanese interviews. They told me they will inform me if I got the job or not early this week. It's to teach for 3 and a half hours on Saturday mornings to preschoolers. I'll earn 20,000 yen a Saturday, which is REALLY good for that amount of time.

One last thing I was thinking about was riding my bike home in the cold tonight across the bridge with a beautiful view: I feel sad that I don't have Randy here to share this with. The party. the view. the daily bike rides. the new foods I'm given as gifts. the warmth of my students. And even when he's here, he won't get to see some of these things like the inside of this amazing house I was in for the dinner party tonight. Ironically, I came here alone because I planned on and asked to have this experience on my own. But that was before I'd met Randy. I guess some of these things are just for me to take in and remember on my own.

I think I'm just feeling lonely lately.

And as I listened to my iPod, I realized that there was something else I don't share: music. I don't have anyone in my life I can share my passion for it with. Movies are a passion, and I love the conversations I have with Randy and a few other friends about movies, directors, actors, upcoming projects. But I have nobody to do that with for music. I did it a lot in college, and then to some degree with Todd. But there's been nobody since then. It's been a long time. I haven't met anyone with a passion for it, for the history, and the evolutionary process of music's progression through time. I really feel alone in that world. I can find people to share the current pop music discussions with, but nobody who enjoys the depth of where today's music stems from. It makes me feel a little sad and makes me realize a part of myself that's going unnourished.

I'm thinking about these things because I'm starting to come out of my depression. I'm emerging from the cocoon. And with it (as usual, based on past experiences) come many realizations about what I need in life, what's gratefully fulfilling for me, what's no longer useful, what's inspirational, what feeds me, what's missing, what's excessive, and what my role is or what I want it to be in the world and people's lives around me.

This is a big deal here tonight. I know it's a lot to digest at once. I'm most definitely a hyper-dynamic guy on a crazy ride. It goes pretty hard and fast and doesn't seem to stop... only slow down every now and then. Sometimes it's all I can do to steer it! I'm looking forward to sharing some of the steering with Randy too.

Fasten your seat belts everyone. Here comes the next turn!

Please keep your arms, hands, and head inside the car at all times...

...and a partridge in a pear tree

Well, I know my last posting was over a month ago. And I know it was full of hope. Unfortunately, things didn't go in the direction they seemed they were headed. The company didn't release us. Instead they offered us some money to stay in waiting for when a school opened near us. However, when it came time to pay us, it was delayed.

And then the amount was lowered.
And then it was delayed again.
And then lowered again.
And then delayed again.

In the meantime, my health insurance (offered through the old company) expired. And as if it knew something was up, my body got sick. I caught a cold which turned into bronchitis, and while I was still struggling with that, I caught the flu. I was down and out, in serious pain, unable to leave my apartment for days. Luckily my landlord took me into his office and handed me a plethora of things to help me out, all the way from Western medicine (Bayer for my fever) to Eastern medicine (in powder form for my belly ache) to some Japanese home remedies (eat sour foods to kill viruses).

Anyway, none of that is the reason for this posting.

Actually, I'm really sick of complaining about my existence here.

Things are improving:

1) Randy is coming to visit for two weeks. We are going to see other parts of Japan, which suits me just fine after being confined to my apartment for a good part of the last couple months. We will be in Fukuoka for two days, spend Christmas dinner in Osaka with some friends, go to Tokyo for three days for New Years, and then to see the black castle in Matsumoto, followed by a night's stay in a traditional Japanese Inn near hot springs where the Nagano monkeys are often found soaking. Mostly, I'm just glad to see him and spend the holidays with him.

2) I did finally get some money from the company. It's a lot less than they promised initially, and it's a lot later than they said it would be coming, but it did finally come (I was starting to wonder if they were ever going to keep their word on anything)! It basically went to paying rent and utilities for December (which were already late...I almost got my phone cut off!) and January rent and then paid for a massage today that I desperately needed.

3) I had two great visits: one from my dear long-time friend Megan from my L.A., university, and S.F. days, and one from a friend-of-a-friend-who-became-my-friend, Brooke. It was good to get perspectives from other people whose opinions I respect, and I'm sure I talked their ears off, being around native English speakers for the first consistent time periods in a while! Plus, they are both living inspiring lives, which I needed to see. It also helped me see new parts of this city, as well as other nearby places, and it renewed my interest in being here and learning about this culture. I've even picked up my Japanese language books again.

4) My private students are increasing in number. They are telling friends, and I'm getting closer to my goal. Right now, I'm teaching 15 lessons a week, up from the 6 I had two months ago. I'm getting one to three new students a week. My goal is to teach 30 a week, which will earn me more than I was making at that company.

5) My students and Japanese people in general are so incredibly generous! In the past three weeks, I have been given 3 different bags of oranges, some plum wine, a bag of persimmons, a box of almond chocolates, some brandy cakes, a good luck charm to bring me money (modeled after a Japanese chess piece), a bag of loose leaf green tea, a cell phone charm, a Disney pen, and a padded winter Japanese house coat with traditional cloth on the outside (valued at about $70 or so). Talk about the 12 days of Christmas! And that's not to mention all the food and tea they have bought me during our lessons in cafes.

On top of that, I advertised on a bulletin board, which brought me Kotaro, a university photography student who is profiling teachers who got screwed by my company. He is paying me about $45 a session to photograph me and have me work on an exhibition with him. Tonight, he bought me dinner and drinks in addition to the fee, just so that I could write out messages for the exhibition. The messages were my simple answers to his questions like "What have you had to give up, working for that company?", "Why did you choose to stay here even when most other teachers went back to their home countries?", and "What would you say to the president of the company if you met him?" I got paid for doing that!

Point being, I have always had a hard time accepting help or "hand-outs" from others when I'm down. It has made me feel inadequate in my own ability to take care of myself. Well, the Universe isn't letting me do that this time. I'm living in a giving culture that gets upset and feels offended if you turn it down.

SO I guess things are looking up. Once I get my work visa renewed in January, I will be back on track. I will be able to pick my Japanese back up, pick up aikido (at last!), and return to soaking up a new culture during the last third of my stay here.

I don't think I will even be able to comprehend how this has affected me until it's all over. It's been some ride, I gotta say!