Folded In

When baking, recipes often ask you to "fold the egg whites in" to the mixture or batter. This is a way of incorporating them without completely decimating the bubbles you've whipped into them. It's more like you put them in and take some of the mixture/batter and gently lay it on top of the eggs like a blanket. It keeps the end result light and airy.

This culture is so opposite to what I grew up with. If something negative happens, it's their fault. If something positive happens, it's apparently because of me. In the States, there's a tendency to blame others for negativity and take the credit for positivity (a la the often portrayed "that's my kid!" when he does well and "he obviously takes after you" when he screws up).

There's so much gratitude flowing for anything I do. My landlord gives me small gifts every time I pay my rent. My students give me small gifts at my private lessons. I don't quite get it. In one case, I pay money, and in the other, they pay me, and in both cases, they are falling over themselves to express their gratitude.

There's such an impulse ingrained in people here from a young age to not disturb others and their flow in life. There is a constant apology coming my way from others. If I push past someone, they apologize to me. If I ask them to explain something and they don't know how to explain it, they feel inadequate that they don't know English(!) and apologize again. When I was first learning to ride my bike here and didn't yet know the "rules" of the sidewalk, I ran right into the back of a schoolgirl. I was so concerned because I thought I'd hit her hard, and as I desperately asked if she was okay, she repeatedly cried "Sumimasen!" (excuse me/sorry) with tears coming down her face as if to say it was her fault.

Recently I've caught myself doing some very Japanese things here that I didn't notice I'd begun to do. At the dry cleaners yesterday, I apologized (in Japanese) to the people in line behind me. I wasn't there a long time...no more than three minutes. It was simply because I was first in line and they were behind me. They broke into smiles and said that it was nothing, but the way they said it indicated that I did the right thing by apologizing.

What is happening to me? Without noticing and without the violence of bursting my bubbles I think I'm being folded in...