Getting Friendly

I sent out a link today to a few people letting them know about this blog, and I already got many e-mails or posted comments from people whom I love and respect. I hadn’t anticipated (though secretly desired) such an overwhelming response. I really do miss people back in the U.S., even if I’m not exactly missing the U.S. itself. My eyes welled up at a few of these messages, hearing words from people who knew me well when I lived there. I say “knew” only because I’m going through such change that I don’t even know aspects of myself right now, confronting inner, old issues of honor, commitment, jealousy, self-reliance, resourcefulness, and faith.

One of my primary challenges in life has been that of independence. My parents instilled it in me as we left everything comfortable at once and moved from Wyoming to Virginia. That showed me that pulling away into the unknown was a potentially valuable experience, even if I never really grew to like Virginia Beach. And then they ironically struggled with it along side me as I began to assert my own independence in immature ways. We are still dancing with one another around this as I learn that relying on them from time to time does not have to mean giving up my autonomy. I know intellectually that asking for help doesn’t mean I’ve failed, and yet part of me still feels like an adolescent inside when this comes up.

That being said, I do need my friends and their support. Growth can be more difficult when you are surrounded by people who see you in a particular light because your interactions with them tend to reinforce the person they “know” you to be. Knowing I needed to break some old patterns and give mysef the opportunity to grow, I have pulled away while being here.

At the same time, I also feel today how important those connections are and how grateful I am for each and every one of you and your individual infulence on me. I feel your love and return it in kind.

Here are some photos of various people I love and miss: CLICK HERE
I only have photos form the past year or so in my computer at all. If you aren't in one of these and have one of us, please send it to me. Thanks!